[	Current Mood	|	blank	]
[	Current Music	|	Jah Roots - Crucial	]

probably at the lowest i've ever been.. and i still cant write anything -______-






she wakes up every morning, thoughts weighing heavy on her mind
she's hoping today will be a better day than the ones behind
she's having some trouble getting going, oh, from the fear she's paralyzed
she puts her face into her hands and then she cries

she's so tiiired, she closes her eyes trying to live up to a standard that the world provides

[	Current Mood	|	apathetic	]
[	Current Music	|	Gregory Isaacs - My Only Lover	]

where's your loyalty?

i'm sure plenty of people have faced this problem, most likely more than once too, in their lifetime. what do you do when you're caught in the middle? do you choose sides?

take a step back and observe the situation. imagine how awkward it must be for your friends. think about all the other problems that will arise from it. man up and either solve it, or get over it.

how do you protect one without hurting the other?

maybe it's just hard for me because i honestly don't pick sides. i don't blab about so-and-so or treat anyone differently because of what's going on. i try to be fair and let the situation work out on it's own, but it's become tiring.. to the point where i don't even want to be around.

i care about all of you, but i'm tired of this "s/he did whatever whatever." my feelings are all over the place and at times, i don't know who to trust anymore. maybe it's time to close those doors again..

when i think about what we've all become, i feel emotionless -- like it's just there.. my "that's just how s/he is" excuse is becoming less convincing the more that i say it.

it's sad to say that i don't feel as happy as i used to.



..because that's just who i am; it's my nature to help.

[	Current Mood	|	peaceful	]
[	Current Music	|	MGMT - Time To Pretend	]

found a lost phone and returned it to its owner..
i feeeeel happy inside ;)))



i can't stop, won't stop hahaha

[	Current Mood	|	alcohol makes my body hot ;T	]
[	Current Music	|	Atmosphere - God's Bathroom Floor	]

quick and short update;

wanted to write a legit post, but been too lazy;
currently soooopa draded -___________________-;;
alcohol is definitely not my friend
been partying AAA LOOOOTTT the past couple days O.O
won all four games of beer pong tonight; woop woop!
i am a giggly drinker ;D
watching jon & kate plus 8 makes me want kids ;X


aaannndd i'm done with the randomness ;)




sigh; breathe in.. breathe out..

[	Current Mood	|	amused	]
[	Current Music	|	The Dream - Rockin' That Thang	]

"..i'm not a racist 'cause i don't hate all black people. being a racist means i hate all of them, i just hate most of them -- like 95% of them."
"but i didn't call you a racist hahahha"
"i know, but i'm just sayin'.. same with white people, i hate most of them too!"
"--hahahah me toooo!"
"--i hate most asian people too. see i'm not racist."
"hahahhahaha you just hate people right?"
"exactly"

[	Current Mood	|	siigh..	]
[	Current Music	|	Jedi Mind Tricks - Sacrafice	]

it's the new year, again hahahha; the start of this new year's, though, was definitely better than the other one.. until yesterday.

my car's about 15 years old.. there are pictures of me posing in front of it when i was five. never would i have thought that it would be my car today.. alissa and i were on the way to the mall yesterday to go eat and shop around. we were waiting at a red light on hawthorne&redondo and i see smoke coming from my hood. the light is soooooo long -__________-;; i'm stuck between all these cars and there's nothing i could do except wait for the light to turn green. the smoke starts to come into my car from the outside ;T we finally get to pull over at this DIY carwash place 'cause we knew we had to cool down the car. my car needed to cool down before i could touch anything so we decided to drive down the block to the mall and let it cool in the structure while we eat. 2 hours pass and we get back to my car. it's not smokey anymore, but now it smells like gasoline.. we get back to her place and ask henry to check out the car. meanwhile.. alissa and i are being macho men and carrying in two closets from ikea that are heavy as faaack. henry did what he could with my car, and danny was down the street at ted's so he followed me to my house and took me to carson for the meeting at 8.

my car didn't smell anymore, but it's still making this weird humming noise. i know, my car already makes a shitload of noises, but after driving it for so long, you learn how to tune out the noise hhahaha soo, it's easy for me to identify new noises.

if it's gonna cost an arm and a leg to fix, i think it's the end of my car.. i just pumped a full tank on tuesday too ;\

[	Current Mood	|	tired	]
[	Current Music	|	John Legend - Let's Get Lifted Again	]

dear brain,
why do you always do this to me? ;T

[	Current Mood	|	yaaayyy!	]
[	Current Music	|	Madina Lake - One Last Kiss	]

falling asleep and waking up to text messages make me happy ;] keep it up you fuckers hahahha
sometimes i wake up to the craziest texts ever.. like "i'm gonna buy you an _____ of _______ ;]" hahahha! don't worry about what goes in the blanks.. just know that it made me go "wtf o.0" and laugh outloud; and another favorite is waking up to a bajillion texts via AIM 'cause a certain someone likes to send one-worded IMs ;]



my last day of work is the 15th, then i have orientation on the 19th -- eeeep ;X
2009's off to a great start; gonna be hella busy though

[	Current Mood	|	HAHHAHA!	]
[	Current Music	|	John Legend - Satisfaction	]

Goodbye 2008, hello 2009!

Fuck '08. This year really opened my eyes though. Glad it's coming to an end. Here's to a new year and new adventures ;)


HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE ALBOLOTE! I LOVE YOU!! <3


Enjoying the new year with some of my favorite people ;D Sections 7&8.. Middle level towards the rail.. HOLLA!

[	Current Mood	|	loved	]
[	Current Music	|	Robot And The Beanstalk - Across The Ocean	]

this year really opened my eyes to the people i am friends with. although we've had our share of ups and downs, we always find our way back to each other. isn't that a part of life though? meeting new people and creating new friendships? we just have to remember that in the process of doing so, we can't forget who we're already friends with. and those on the other end, can't get mad at the other person for making new friends.

it's always hard to find people you can trust wholeheartedly, especially if you're a female and you're trying to find girls you can trust. lucky for me, i have met five beautiful ladies that've kept me sane for quite awhile now. although i've met them during different times of my life, i can talk to all of them about every aspect of my life and know that they'll never look at me differently because of the decisions i make. i know that they'll be there for me, even if we haven't spoken to each other for awhile. i know these girls are the closest to sisters i will ever have, and i know they're keepers because there's never a day that goes by that i don't miss them. although i don't get to see some as much as i would like to, i know that the love we have for each other will always be there. these are the people i turn to when i feel that life's beating me down, and they always try to make me feel better. i know that actions speak louder than words, but wouldn't this count as an action? telling the world how lucky i am to have these five people a part of my life.. hahahha, i love you girls; never doubt it. always laugh with the besties<3

now boys, don't be jealous. i love you guys too. i don't know how you guys can stand my ramblings, but i love you guys for it ;)



the start of this holiday season's been great ;)

[	Current Mood	|	woah.	]
[	Current Music	|	Simian - Never Be Alone	]

had a conversation about scientology earlier. came home and searched the video for a song danny was singing earlier so i could find out the title. turns out it's a song about scientology, or sounds like it could be about it. intense.

Happy 21st birthday, LECHON // MILK // BECH // erick! HAHHAHHAHHA

i've been a bitch lately. i wish it would stop; tired of it all.
i tried, but i cant.. walking on thin ice.





this weekend & vegas ;)

[	Current Mood	|	BLOATED.	]
[	Current Music	|	Kanye West - Heartless	]

quick post;

trying to be as optimistic as i can right now. life is good, except for the little things. i need a better paying job or need to work more hours or something. 9/hr isn't cutting it for me. owe school $2080 'cause my loan or something didn't go through. siiiiiiiiiigggh..

been able to manage my time better; been hanging out with the runnerz kids more often, i enjoy hanging out with them dirty minded kids ;P charades and magic mic! woooot~

[some science experiment thing; a bottle breaks while the O part at the bottom breaks off perfectly]
"that shit's tight. that's like the quickest way to break a bottle in like a bar fight"
[some people think about it and ponder if it is]
"no it's not. the quickest way to break the bottle would be to just fuckin' break it on something"
HAHHAHHAHHA daaaammmn; beer pong: 6-0 yayuh! ;)

it's almost december; this year flew by quick as fuck. it's coo 'cause i'm tired of '08.



you make it so hard.... ;T